Fat Panda = No Sex

Ah, Chuang Chuang, what are we going to do with you?  It seems he's become too fat to have sex with Lin Hui, his "wife".  Video is here!

Not that he'd be any good at it, even if he wasn't a fat bear.

It was a year ago when the two first tried the lovemaking, which made Thai officials "elated" because they had gone through the trouble of having the two pandas "married" in a special ceremony to bring them luck in the lovemaking department:

But then, we saw this picture, which shows Chuang Chuang looking not so smart:

If I was a betting man, I'd say that Lin Hui will go the artificial insemination route.  Just a guess.

Porn again

We all know that pandas are no good at the lovemaking skills required to naturally make a cute baby panda.

And we also know that researchers have shown to clueless pandas some entertaining (for pandas) videos of other pandas getting it on...

Says the panda project chief in Thailand: "We'll play the video at the most comfortable and intimate time for him, perhaps after dinner,"

Sounds good to me.

Thanks again to viola_jean for this photo!

Panda Lovemaking

Picture originally uploaded by nishushan.

I'll bet you $1 that this attempt at panda lovemaking will not ultimately result in a baby panda.

Pandamaking

When this doesn't work:

then this happens:

and doctors do this:

and this:

to get to this:

to make this:

Making pandas!

This is beautiful Lun Lun from the Atlanta Zoo.  Lun Lun, 8, was artificially inseminated Wednesday and again Thursday because (shockingly) she and Yang Yang couldn't get it done as nature intended.

We all hope to see a baby panda in Atlanta soon!  And thanks to ZenPanda for a great look at her!

And this is Zhang Ka at the Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center- she was artificially inseminated last week.  Results later this summer...

Panda Nipple

*ahem* A panda nipple.  Thanks, somesai!

... and some news regarding the ongoing quest of zoologists to help pandas make panda babies the natural way:

"Zoologists in southwest China's Sichuan Province have been recording the cooing voices of giant pandas in the hope of helping the undersexed endangered animals find love...

Recording and studying giant pandas' voices are the latest effort of Chinese panda experts to try and stimulate the sex-shy creature. Previously experts have tried to show the bears sex films."

Baby panda making

I rarely get to use my "Panda Lovemaking" category and so I'm pleased to add this.

Thanks viola_jean!

Pandas in Thailand still figuring things out

Giant pandas Chuang Chuang (male, back) and Lin Hui (female, front) play with each other in the Chiang Mai Zoo of Chiang Mai, Thailand.

He looks really confused.

HOWTO: Make a baby panda

This is Hua Mei, born in 1999, and she's great at giving birth to baby pandas. 

However, pandas are not good at making baby pandas without help.  Artificial insemination works well     (it made Hua Mei) but researchers have also tried to make panda lovemaking more successful.

They've tried viagra and have used panda porn to show the boys and the girls how to do it.

Panda porn worked for Hua Mei and we hope it helps the two pandas in Thailand, Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui, because they're going to be watching some DVDs soon to help them study up...

After all, they looked like they could use a helpful hint the other day.

The photo is from the Baby Panda page, a fantastic site all about Hua Mei.

"Elation as giant pandas mate for the first time"

Newlywed panda couple Xuang Xuang and Lin Hui, on loan to a zoo in Thailand from China for the next 10 years, decided to mate yesterday.

"Lin Hui, the female, was particularly explicit in her overtures as she kept walking by Xuang Xuang and turning her rear toward him.

But it seemed the male panda was not in the mood in the morning as he kept pushing her away with his paws."

Such male panda disinterest is standard.

"There was some movement and after awhile Lin Hui let out a humming noise, but Xuang Xuang showed little reaction. After a few minutes, the two parted, ending their first romantic encounter."

You may (or may not) recall that zoo officials had the two pandas married in a ceremony this past November. “Start making children soon. Don’t let me down,” Chinese Consul Peng Ren Dong told a couple dressed as pandas — which are notoriously difficult to breed in captivity — during a colourful tea ceremony which is part of Chinese wedding rites:

One way to make a baby panda

Pandas are terrible at making baby pandas, so we're glad that "a hundred percent of artificially-bred baby pandas have survived in the Panda Research Center in Wolong over the past six years..."

But pandas will be pandas: Female panda Yue Yue mates with male panda Da Di at the Giant Panda Protection and Research Center in Wolong, Southwest China's Sichuan Province, March 14, 2004

Two things: 1) Da Di looks like a happy panda! and 2) the researcher with the stopwatch (no pressure there, Big Da Di.)

 

 

Pandas watching other Pandas do it

Link: Salon: Bear-naked video!

Do researchers still use Panda Porn to help our friends get in the mood?  I'm thinking that it's all about artificial insemination these days...  From the article (April 2000):

The cuddly black and white animals have a pesky habit of refusing to reproduce, especially in captivity. It's not that they mate too quickly. They simply aren't interested in sex. And so researchers in China have made the pandas instructional videos to show them how to scrump.

And then this:

As notoriously sex-shy giant pandas reach adulthood in China -- around the age of six -- they are now routinely given ringside seats to panda porn as part of their initiation rites.

When Didi turned six on Tuesday at the China Giant Panda Breeding and Research Center in Wolong, he sat eyes glued in front of a screen that showed a video of two giant pandas mating, according to the official Xinhua news agency.

"Didi seemed to like his gift immensely," it reported of his coming of age.

Thanks to Wonkette and Gridskipper

Thanks for the links.  Which is why this is posted in "Panda Lovemaking"

As if you didn't know: Wonkette and Gridskipper

Births of Pandas in Captivity Hit Record Number in China

Link: Scientists Cite Improved Artificial Insemination Techniques

Chinese scientists have logged a record number of giant panda births in captivity this year through improved artificial insemination techniques and better understanding of how the reclusive but universally appealing creature lives and mates.

The result of hard science by no-nonsense researchers, the increased birthrate is good news for the many children and soft-hearted adults around the world who delight in the sight of pandas, with their distinctive black and white fur, sitting back and tranquilly munching on bamboo leaves.

 

Scientists succeeding at making baby pandas

Link: China has record 25 pandas born after artificial insemination.

China has succeeded in producing 25 panda cubs through artificial insemination this year, a record since the method was introduced four decades ago.

Researchers artificially impregnated 38 giant pandas this spring, resulting in 25 panda births this fall of which 21 survived, the Xinhua news agency reported Thursday.

Atlanta Zoo: Giant Panda Research Projects

Link: Reproductive Behavior of Captive Adult Giant Pandas.

"With the wild population of giant pandas in serious danger of extinction, it becomes increasingly important that a self-sustaining captive population is established and maintained. Both female and male captive giant pandas exhibit behavioral problems that hinder the development of a self-sustaining captive population..."